Life is so HARD...
Today was a good day...a normal day, until I got home from picking up my grocery order. Everything had changed and I don't know how or why. I don't want to get into the details but I've been crying ever since and I can't stop. No one understands what I go through when these things happen. It's a seriously hard struggle that I have to deal with and a seriously hard struggle I have no idea how to deal with. Thankfully, it's less frequent, but when there is no warning, or I miss the warning signs, it's so fucking hard. I have no one to talk to and no one that could possibly understand. So I vent to my online journal and hope it helps me get through the tough part.
I will probably be single for the rest of my life because no one is going to want to deal with this baggage I have to carry. And I don't have a choice but to carry it. I can't just let it go or leave it at the terminal. It will be with me forever. It's part of me. It's sad that I will probably have to go through the rest of my life alone, but I will do what I have to do. I'm a strong, independent woman, but I do have weak moments. And damn if those weak moments don't kick my ass. But I cry it out then give it time and normal life slowly returns. Until the next time.
Life is so hard.